Confidence in Conflict

How do you feel when you’re about to walk into a conflict discussion? How prepared are you to deal with conflict?

In a recent newsletter we talked about conflict (if you didn't get a copy via e-mail, I strongly encourage you to read the online version using this link).

I'm interested in your perspective. I invite you to post a comment with:

• Some of your biggest sources of conflict, and
• Some of the most important lessons you've learned about handling conflict

I look forward to hearing from you!

Labels: conflict, leadership

posted by Andy at 2:23 AM  

Everything You've Learned About Exercising is Wrong (Plus a Free eLearning Presentation)

"I'd exercise if I had the time."

Ever found yourself saying that? It reigned as my number one excuse for years. That is until I met my coaching client Brian Cygan, who runs a group of Chicago area personal training studios called The Exercise Coach™.

I help organizations around the world who are struggling with how to deliver projects and lead teams. So why a post about exercise?

Whether I'm working with a multi-national organization with tens of thousand of employees or the owner of a small business, one of the most consistent challenges comes down to one factor.

Time.

My company helps people deliver projects, become more confident leaders, take focused action and achieve results. Yet much of the joy for our clients comes when they can reap these benefits while maintaining a more balanced life.

Exercise is one of the key ingredients to a balanced life. But who has the time?

Brian recently delivered a presentation that shows how his approach allows people to get significant health and fitness benefits in only two, 20-minute sessions per week. More than that, he blows away some of the bigger myths regarding exercise and weight loss.

Could it be that much of what we've learned about exercise turns out to be wrong?

I was skeptical when I first started talking to Brian about these ideas. But after a year of putting them to the test, my wife and I are now lifers! Ellington Darden's book Living Longer Stronger reinforces the principles that drive The Exercise Coach's successful approach.

Free eLearning Presentation
Want to hear Brian’s presentation? As a benefit to our Horizon Time newsletter subscribers and regular blog readers, we are pleased to offer you this free learning opportunity.

Click here to begin the program.

NOTE: Make sure pop-up blockers are turned off for this site. Also, your security policy must allow Flash to run in order to view this e-learning session.

P.S. If you live in the northwest suburbs of Chicago, check out Brian’s studios. Even if you live outside the area, you can learn how to use his approach to get the greatest benefit from your exercise investment. Learn more about The Exercise Coach™ at http://www.theexercisecoach.com/.

Labels: exercise, work/life balance

posted by Andy at 10:31 PM  

Improving Your Influence

How effective are you at influencing others? How can you convince someone to agree to your proposed approach, particularly when you don't have authority over them? Or when it's not as simple as getting a bunch of facts together? Or when there may be some natural tension between what you both want?

How would it impact your job (and life) if you could be more influential?

John Maxwell summarizes leadership in one word: Influence. One of my favorite books on the topic is from Robert B. Cialdini. In Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, Cialdini offers up what he calls the "weapons of influence" to help us all better understand how influence works.

This book is packed with insights that can help every aspiring leader be more influential. You will find the ideas in the book easily accessible even if you don't have a background in psychology.

Cialdini serves up an enjoyable, practical, yet scientifically documented work that centers around what he calls the weapons of influence. Packed with entertaining and insightful stories, Cialdini helps us understand how each of the weapons work. Perhaps as enlightening is his advice on how to defend against the weapons when others wield them on you.

Here's an example: one of the weapons is referred to as reciprocation. The rule says that we should try to repay, in kind, what another person has provided us. In fact, Cialdini's research finds we often feel obligated to future repayment of favors, gifts, invitations and the like.

However, he also finds the rule of reciprocation can trigger unequal exchanges. I have a friend who raises funds for a non-profit. Like me, he uses Send Out Cards (SOC) to stay in touch with people using real cards instead of e-mail or e-cards. One of the many nice features of SOC is you can include a gift along with the actual card. He included a $10 Starbucks gift card inside a "we missed you" card to 10 people who were unable to attend an event. Within a week, two of those people sent him checks for more than $1,000.

It's reciprocity in action.

Ever get free return mailing labels from an organization asking for donations? How about free samples where you shop? As it turns out, Cialdini finds they all may not be as free as we think! In fact, researchers have found that simply giving customers a candy or mint along with their bill significantly increases tips!

I'm not suggesting you use sleazy, deceptive means to get what you want, on the job or outside work. There can be a fine line between influencing and manipulating.

But Cialdini's book is packed with ideas that, with some consideration and proper intentions, can help you persuade a project stakeholder that a certain decision is best. Or that another group needs to deliver on time when they normally don't share your sense of urgency. Or when you need a team to work longer hours but don't want to force it on them.

Actions for Leaders

• I wholeheartedly recommend you add Cialdini's book to your reading list. I'd love to hear your insights after you read it.
• Contact us about our keynotes and workshops that can help you and your organization significantly improve your ability to influence others. We help develop leaders around the world on this vital topic, and it would be a privilege to explore the potential of helping your organization as well.
• Send Out Cards is a simple and practical way to improve your influence and show people how much you care about them. To learn more (and send a couple free ones on me) click here. Then click on the banner with the moving arrow.

Labels: Books I Love, conflict, influence, leadership, managing stakeholders

posted by Andy at 11:11 AM