A Really Bad Way to Approach Conflict (Plus a Free Offer!)

There are many ways to approach a conflict situation. The one I describe in today's newsletter is definitely not recommended! Make sure to check it out.

While you're there, check out the special offer. The first 10 people to respond get a free license to our e-learning offering entitled Beyond the Rock and the Hard Place: How to Deal With Conflict More Effectively.

Get helpful learning. For free. Contact me today.

Labels: Beyond the Rock and the Hard Place, conflict, managing stakeholders

posted by Andy at 4:38 PM  

The Cost of a Typo

I'm sitting across the table from one of my strongest performers. He's a talented software developer who can write code like few people I know. But there is a problem.

The kid can't spell to save his life.

Whether it was a one paragraph e-mail or a voluminous requirements document, you could count on typos if it had his name as the author.

I talked to this otherwise strong performer about his spelling problem. He discounted it at first as an issue that is no longer relevant, particularly in the age of e-mail and instant messaging.

I'm not insensitive to the argument. A friend who is a high school English teacher recently told me she is getting papers submitted where the word "you" is spelled "u."

But I don't buy the excuse. What comes to mind when you sea a typo?

Certainly plenty of people may not even notice a single typo (did you catch the one I purposely put in this posting?).

Yet others will see it as a sign of laziness. In some cases the writer may be perceived to be less intelligent. It can even come off as disrespect and cost you money (not to mention getting your name published in the New York Times)!

Here are my recommendations on how to mitigate the risk of typos:

• Take a couple extra minutes to review your communication before sending or publishing it. Your spell checker won't catch everything, but it can get the easy ones.
• Beyond spelling, ask "How can this be misunderstood?" A simple re-wording of a sentence might make the difference between someone understanding your message or generating additional questions.
• Get a copy of Patricia O'Conner's book Woe Is I. It is a handy reference to keep near your desk when you're trying to remember if the word is "affect" or "effect." Plus it's just a really entertaining book to thumb through when you have a couple minutes to burn.
• Consider having someone else review your communication. On a practical basis this might be reserved for those situations where the stakes are higher. Multiple people sift through every word of my manuscripts before my books are published, and even then I have found a stray problem or two.

When you're looking for extra eyes on your communication, consider turning to my colleague Leila Kalmbach of Eye for Ink Editorial Services. From copyediting to proofreading, Leila specializes in making us all look brilliant. Contact Leila to subscribe to her Typo of the Month newsletter!

Labels: communication, recommended sites

posted by Andy at 4:57 PM  

"The Secret" isn't real?

One of the many benefits of my profession is getting the real privilege of intersecting with many thousands of people each year. It allows me to get a pulse of what people are excited about, worried about, what they're reading, and much more.

I was amazed last year when I heard so many otherwise seemingly intelligent people embracing Rhonda Byrne's book The Secret. The more I heard the more I couldn't believe that people were buying into it.

It eventually led to me writing the book Shining the Light on The Secret.

Though there's reduced buzz about The Secret, it nonetheless remains #2 on the New York Times Best-Seller for hardcover advice books. So it brought some pleasure to read Richard Roeper's piece in today's Chicago Sun-Times about "The Secret Conspiracy."

Enjoy.

Labels: worldview

posted by Andy at 1:23 PM  

Two Words That Can Improve Your Influence

Can a couple little words really make a difference in your ability to influence someone, such as a customer or stakeholder?

I just read a summary of Jeff Mowatt's new book Influence With Ease. Though I'm not recommending it as an addition to your reading list, I did appreciate the reinforcement that small changes to how we phrase things can make a big difference.

Pop Quiz: What two words helped waiters and waitresses to increase their tips by 12%? "Thank you" comes to mind.

In this article Mowatt talks about using the phrase "for you." Waitresses who said "I brought more coffee over for you" notably increased their tips over those who asked "Would you like more coffee?" Using "for you" helps the service to feel more personalized.

What if you're not waiting tables? Give some of these a try:

• "Here's a site I found for you. It looks like it addresses some of the questions we discussed."
• "I updated the document for you based on your input."
• "That finishes what I intended to cover in this meeting. Before we wrap up, is there anything more I can do for you?"

In a sense this calls back to what Dale Carnegie taught us decades ago in How to Win Friends and Influence People: "You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you."

(By the way, here's a recommendation for you: add Carnegie's book to your must-read list if you either haven't read it or haven't gone over it again in the last 5 years.)

You can radically improve your influence by focusing on the other person and their needs instead of yourself and your needs. Though there's no phrase that will magically get others to comply in every situation, consider adding a little "for you" into your comments this week.

We offer keynotes and workshops that can help you and your team improve your ability to influence, even when you don't have authority. Contact us today to learn more.

Labels: influence, leadership

posted by Andy at 12:11 PM