How to Say "No" (Without Saying "No")

So, how do you say "No" when doing so feels like it could be, say, a career limiting move? Advice abounds, often over-simplifying the stakes by not taking into account the complexities of saying "No" to someone like a boss or by not giving specific enough strategies.

In a recent newsletter article I give some practical ways to say "No" without saying the letters N-O.

Here's your chance to join the conversation: How do you handle situations when everything inside of you wants to say "No", but there are other pressures to say Yes?

Add a comment to this blog entry to share your insights.

Labels: accountability, conflict, denial, executives, influence, leadership, managing up, project sponsors

posted by Andy at 12:03 PM  

Career Advice from the Top

Part of our leadership development approach is to give participants an opportunity to interact with top level executives. We have found enormous value in getting aspiring leaders face-to-face with people who are sitting in the chair and to learn from their successes and mistakes.

A recent CIO Magazine article shares some career lessons from top IT executives. Regardless of whether or not you are in IT, each of the brief entries provide insights that can be helpful to your career development.

Is it possible we get too comfortable? Or perhaps think we must have our entire career mapped out like a project plan? Is it a good career move to take the hit for a failed project? How important is it to actually be interested--even in love--with what you do? The article shares insights on these topics and more.

Interested in taking your career to the next level? Our Leadership Fast Track Program can be an important next step to prepare you! Click here for details.

Labels: accountability, executives, Information Technology, leadership, managing up, mistakes

posted by Andy at 7:54 AM  

What Shamu Can Teach You About Your Boss

One of the dirty little secrets of managing is that, over time, you'll do more managing up and out than down. But that's easier said than done. What are some important lessons learned about managing up?

I recommend Dan and Chip Heath's article in FastCompany entitled, "Your Boss is a Monkey". They take lessons from Amy Sutherland's book What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love, and Marriage and apply them to managing "another irritable mammal: your boss."

A couple observations that aligns with how we coach leaders:

• Every interaction is training. We are constantly sending out signals to those we work with. I'm not talking about some mystical energy here. Rather, we are constantly reinforcing lessons to those around us. If we let Bob slip in 2 hours late each morning without any discussion, you've taught Bob and everyone else around him a lesson: getting to work on time isn't really that important. If we keep delivering miracles to make up for lack of process in the organization, we reinforce the belief that all that process stuff is a waste of time. What messages have you inadvertently been sending lately?




• Reinforce good behavior! This seems so obvious but we often miss opportunities to catch people doing things right! We can be black belt whiners, for sure. Reinforcing your positive expectations of people can lead to them living and performing up to your expectations. Call out the good when you see it.

I'd like to think that we humans are less susceptible to the type of manipulation that the authors are suggesting. Yet in practice I've seen it work over and over. I'm working with a coaching client right now that is learning to flip her boss a mango when he delegates instead of micro-manages. Over time, I'm optimistic there will be progress.

Keep in mind that the "monkey" article's advice to "ignore the bad behavior" has limitations. There's wisdom in not over-reacting. Counting to 10 (or 100) has saved many careers!

Yet "apparent indifference" does not always "smother the fire." In fact, for some bosses, it will pour fuel on the fire as it sends the signal that you don't care. Though the Heaths discount aligning styles and expectations as techniques, there is enormous leverage in understanding the art and science of such approaches. They are too critical to chalk up as "goody-two-shoe" training grovel.

Want to learn practical skills on how to manage up more effectively? Join our Leadership Fast Track Program starting in June! Click here for details!

Labels: accountability, conflict, executives, influence, leadership, learning, managing up, personality styles

posted by Andy at 10:34 AM